Honestly, I miss it.
It’s pageant season in the drag world and Facebook is ripe with constant updates on evening wear, talents and interviews. Across the country kings and queens are preparing to compete in prelims and finals, looking for sponsors, packing suitcases and truck beds with costumes and props and dragging backup dancers across country.
Honestly, I miss it.
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Kings are catching a lot of flack for the amount of bling on their costumes lately. At least here they are. It’s a running joke about the amount of stones one has on an outfit. Stones, glitter, anything else that’s shiny and sparkles. I know that whenever I put on my outfit that has large, uber-sparkly flames on it, I get endless “Flaming Freddy” comments. Jerks. Freddy isn’t flaming. He’s fabulous! Ha! At any rate, there’s a constant debate about the shinies and the sparklies. How much is too much? Where do you draw the line? Where does it stop looking sharp and start looking like a day care project? Because we’re expected to keep raising the bar, both in performance and costumes, I think it’s all too easy to go overboard.
My outfit with the flames is probably the most sparkly one I have. And it took a shit ton of glitter and sealant stuff to get it to look the way it does. I even have shoes to match! But generally, I don’t like going the glitter route. Too often it ends up just looking cheesy and kind of juvenile. Sequins are a good substitute if you can’t afford the good Swarovski crystals, but again, try not to go overboard. Oh! I forgot about that outfit. Oops. I do, in fact, have an outfit that has gold sequins covering most of it, but it went with the number it was designed for, so shut it. Will I ever use it again? Not sure. It’s hard to find a song that goes well with a dark blue outfit covered in gold sequins. But that’s ok. I digress. Sequins are an easy, cheap way to bling out any costume. It’s finding the balance that can be tricky. You don’t want to look like an 8 year old’s dance recital costume. You’d be surprised what even a few scattered SINGLE sequins can do for an old jacket or pants. I mean, ideally, most kings will try to get the crystals. Everyone likes the way they sparkle, so why wouldn’t you? Cuz they can be damn expensive, that’s why! I have a job, I work full time, but rarely do I have the funds to be able to really splurge on my costumes. But let me tell you, I am the KING of thrift store shopping! I can’t tell you how many tail coats and such I’ve found for next to nothing. We also have here in Phoenix a store called SAS Fabrics By The Pound, which has all sorts of cool accessories, ribbons, D rings, chain, leather scraps, etc that can be purchased for super cheap and used on pretty much any costume. Yet, I still end up spending more than planned on outfits. The key, I’ve found, is buy in bulk if you can. If you see a good deal on something, get it, because I can guarantee you’ll find a use for it. But back to the bling issue. I try really hard to not have 100 costumes that all look alike. But there are kings and queens who don’t really care. So you see them in essentially the same outfit for every number, but with slight variations in, say, colour. I mean, everyone has their signature look, but it’s always good to think outside the box. Freddy has a thing for tail coats, I admit it. I own no fewer than 6, probably more, but the ones that are all costumed out are all different. And if I’ve used the same one in a couple different numbers, then I try to do something new to it to change it up. I’m actually in the process of doing just that with the tail coat I used for my Mr Brightside number. By the time I’m done with it, it won’t even be recognizable as the same jacket! I also try to keep my stuff uncluttered. Sometimes more is NOT more. Sometimes less is DEFINITELY more. The key is knowing when to stop and put down the E6000. You don’t always have to use bling, be it sequins, crystals or glitter. There are other ways to dress up a costume, without being a walking disco ball. And I don’t mean taking a sharpie and writing your name all over everything you wear. (Laugh if you want… I’ve seen kings who pretty much wear nothing unless it has their name on it.) I’ve used everything from chain, to leather, to zippers, to feathers, to this funky lanyard stuff, to pasties (seriously!), to random pieces of material and fabric paint. I’ve tried to grow in terms of costuming, because in my opinion, there’s nothing worse than becoming stagnant, whether it be in performance or costumes. Which is why it’s kind of nice not to be performing as much as before. It gives me the chance to really work on things. Of course, I usually end up doing everything last minute anyway because that’s just how I roll, but still. (Case in point: performing at Modesto Pride, we got there Friday evening, worked on costumes til about midnight. Saturday, I was supposed to check in at the venue by 11:45am. We were still working on costumes at 10:30am.) But at least it gives me the chance to THINK about what I want to do. Having time to plan is always nice. Basically, there’s a time and a place for bling, be it of the crystal, sequin or glitter variety. Though sometimes, bling is definitely the way to go. After all, “everything in moderation, including moderation,” n’est pas? Every day we’re faced with decisions we have to make. Some are easy: Do I wear black or grey trousers to work? Some are not so easy: Do I tell my boss my co-worker is spreading rumours?
It’s no different in the drag world. With the bar being raised higher and higher, both with kings and queens, the need to make decisions, both hard and easy, is a regular occurrence. Those who do shows weekly, bi-weekly or even monthly on a regular basis have to make decisions regarding whether to keep recycling the same old numbers and costumes and hope that the crowd changes every once in a while, or to spend time and money (which most of us have very little of, unless you’re independently wealthy and unemployed) on keeping things fresh and new. After a couple years of doing shows almost once (if not more) a week, I made the decision that I was tired of seeing the same old numbers that everyone else was doing, which probably meant everyone was tired of seeing me do numbers I’d done before. So I cut down on the number of shows I did considerably. Then, when drama ensued, as it has a habit to do in any drag/lgbtq community, I pulled back even more. I decided that there were more important things than drag. There are kings and queens whose sole purpose in performing are to see how many titles they can win, how much of their wall space they can fill with crowns and sashes and whatnot. It’s when that happens that it seems they lose sight of their community. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with pageants or competing. It all has a place and serves its purpose, but it’s been my experience that it has a tendency to cause more issues than not. Yes, I’m a title holder. I’m very proud of what I’ve won and what I’ve achieved. Have I made it my mission to enter every pageant there is, just so I can inflate my ego? No. There’s more to drag and performing than that. At least in my opinion. Will I compete again? Probably. But not for a while. There’s this nifty little thing called life that needs to be taken care of, nurtured. I have a life outside of drag, a relationship, a job. Sometimes these things have to take precedence. Any LGBTQ identified person finds out real quick just how small this community is, no matter where you live. With that in mind, any decision we make, especially as performers and people who are often seen as representatives of our respective communities, could have the potential to be extremely detrimental to others around us. I think we forget sometimes that there really are no secrets, and someone will see or hear anything and everything that we do. We cease to be “normal” members of our community once we start representing it, earning titles, etc. Now we’re being scrutinized by everyone, watched to see when we’re going to mess up. It’s a lot of responsibility, for those of us who take it seriously. Likewise, your significant others are also under that magnifying glass. They become a reflection of you, and anything they say or do can come back on you as well. Yet it’s so hard for people to forget this, and they continue to do and say things that reflect poorly on them, any titles they hold, and the pageant system and community they represent. Now, I know we’ve all done it. Hell, we’re all human. But most of us grow up and out of it. Some of us never do, however, and it’s these individuals that make it difficult for the rest of us, especially the kings. Now that I’ve gone on a slight tangent, I’d like to bring it back down. The topic of this blog (drog) was decisions. Living and performing in a city of exes, and exes’ exes, and exes’ exes’ exes, you would hope that everyone would at least try to maintain a semblance of civility. Usually, this is indeed the case. Of course, the circumstances surrounding the breakup always have a say in things, but even so time usually helps bring back a certain amount of said civility. You always hope that those who once professed to care for you would never intentionally make a decision that would hurt you. Unfortunately, something happened recently that was the exact opposite of that. Now, I said at the very start that I wasn’t going to make this drog about me, but this particular entry is about a decision I made that was very difficult, and it was because of an extremely selfish decision on the part of someone else. I will not, however, go into details. They’re irrelevant. In a nutshell, I feel as though something was taken away from me that I cared about immensely and, frankly, was mine first. So I have made yet another step back from drag. But as I said earlier, some things are just more important. If drag is contributing to you not having a healthy relationship with your spouse, significant other, friends, etc then maybe it’s time to reevaluate. If drag is preventing you from holding down a legitimate job, and you’re forced to depend on your SO to support you AND your drag habit, maybe it’s time to reevaluate. I am constantly reevaluating my relationship with drag, performing, the people I surround myself with. I have had to make conscious decisions to cut toxic, drama inciting people out of my life. And once you’re gone, you’re gone. There are no second chances with me. And here we are. I will not stop performing. I need to perform. Freddy needs to be kept alive, even if just for my own sanity. You can’t get rid of me that easily. Like I said… some decisions are harder than others, and I just made one of the hardest I’ve had to make in a very long time. But I believe in the end, it will be worth it. In the end, you have to believe that every decision you make is a) the right one, b) the best you can do at the time and c) that it will be worth it in the long run. This is what I’m hoping for. Nay, this is what I’m counting on. In closing, I’d like to thank you for making the decision to read this drog. ;) Cheers! Oh look! It's another drag blog. 'Cuz there aren't already a gazillion of them out there already. It seems that these days everyone has something to say, and everyone seems to think that what they have to say is going to be entertaining enough that the masses will want to hear it, thereby causing a revolution in the drag blogs. Me, I don't necessarily believe that my thoughts are any better, or any worse, than any of the others out there. I've been asked for years why I don't have a blog, and I never did have a good excuse, so I finally bit the bullet and decided "what the hell!" And so here we are. Do I think I'm going to be THE name in drag blogging (drogging?)? In all honesty, I don't really care. Obviously there are people out there who'd be interested in a Freddy blog, and so it is for them that I write here.
I know that my perspective on things will be different than other droggers out there. (Yep, I totally think I'm going to stick with it... It will be a household word soon, mark me!) The drag community is already huge, and continuing to grow exponentially, so I neither expect everyone to read this, nor do I expect those who do read it will all agree with what I have to say. I am going to try my damndest to not make this blog all about me. Which is kind of strange to say, since blogging (drogging) is pretty damn narcissistic to begin with, but what I mean is I'd like to try to keep it about drag and not about how this person hurt my feelings, or how this drag king stole my song, or how I'm just full of unresolved teenage angst, so I stomp my foot and throw a proverbial temper tantrum. (Note: these are all things I've seen on other drogs, so I'm not just making stuff up.) I will not dish dirt, start drama or write page after page about how the community or the world OWES me. So if that's what you're looking for, I can direct you to a couple different drogs, because you won't find it here, my friend. That being said, I'm going to do my best to update fairly regularly, as time and computer access allows. THAT being said, it's almost quitting time and since I decided to write my first blog on company time, I should probably clock out and head home. Cheers! |